So, I get a fair amount of emails a year from parents.  If I get less than 10 a week from parents I am a little wary.  As a parent myself, I worry about my child’s grades.  I have access to the app that gives me an update on my child’s grades and push notifications are on.  I know the moment grades are updated, but from a teacher perspective, I also know that I get a push notification every time the teacher hits “Save” on the computer.  What I’m trying to say is that I understand both ends of the grades argument, concerns, and frustrations.  

All of my policies are clearly outlined in my syllabus which parents and students are required to sign.  I also realize that parents have signed a syllabus for every class and they may not have read my syllabus, however, both parent and students are responsible for knowing the procedures and requirements of class.  I know you are busy.  I also know your student may have just torn out the signature page to hand to you.  It doesn’t change the fact that I take a significant amount of time preparing my syllabus and being as transparent as possible so that everyone understands how my class operates and what my expectations are.  In fact, every year, even after 14 years, I revise to make sure that I am clearer than the year before.  

So, let’s get to the “grade” part of everything.  I understand you want your student to have good grades.  I want the same things for my child.  However, there is no need to be a lawnmower parent.  Parents don’t hover like they used to, but the moment your child is upset, I get a page-long email about how you feel I should reconsider and fix the conflict for your student–because it will affect their grades because they will feel bad.  First, I am more than fair with my students.  I strive to be as far as I can be, but what is it that we are teaching our children when you, the parent, at the high school level, email a teacher to resolve hurt feelings?  If a student has not talked to me themselves, that is where we need to start. Your student needs to learn to advocate for him or herself.  If they are a shy student, have them write a letter or compose the email themselves.  Your student will be a legal adult in 1-4 years by the time I meet them.  These are skills that they need for college and the workplace.  Making it easier for them now will not help them in the long-run.  

Here’s something I heard the other day.  I was at my second job.  Yes, as many teachers, I am well in my career and still have a second job to make ends meet.  My store manager was telling me how the parents in his neighborhood openly brag about how they bully their child’s teacher into giving them As.  I shouldn’t be shocked, but I am.  The reasoning that was told to my manager when he asked them why?  To give them a “leg up.”  Okay, so what happens when those over-inflated grades are given a reality check in the first semester of college?  What happens when someone at work says that their performance on a task did not meet expectations?  Do we really want to become a society where our children can’t advocate for themselves, take criticism and be constructive with it, or be uncomfortable and learn to cope with discomfort?  We all want our children to be happy, to have the best opportunities, but what are we teaching them through our behaviors?  Grades are just grades.  Not every path to success is linear.  What kind of adults do we want to eventually raise?  

Happy Monday and I hope your cup of coffee was warm.